How to take care of someone's death without relying on a Funeral Director
Welcome to the DIY Funeral website.
The home funeral movement is making a comeback. In New Zealand when a person dies, their family or friends can often carry out all of the after-death arrangements themselves, including the funeral and disposition of their body. Legally you do not have to engage a funeral director, and you do not have to embalm a body. You do not even have to have a funeral. These are choices, not legal requirements.
Many of us want to return to death care practices which meet our deepest spiritual, emotional and environmental needs, and which were common until recently. We believe that the love and respect we feel for someone is not indicated by the amount of money we spend on their coffin or funeral, and that a casket made or decorated by friends and family is going to be far more personal and meaningful than anything bought off the shelf at great expense.
Whether you need to arrange a burial or cremation right now, or you are planning for an anticipated death, the information on this website will help you understand what you need to do when you are making the arrangements yourself. Very often you can keep a loved one at home after their death for some days without special equipment, and have a ceremony which is very meaningful to you without spending a fortune. All it takes is people, planning, and co-operation.
Are you looking for an affordable casket or coffin?
If you are simply looking for a cheap casket or coffin (or for plans to make your own) please go to my Caskets for sale page.
Are you dealing with a death right now?
If so, When someone dies and Arranging a burial or cremation may be the most helpful pages for you.
Planning ahead
Making clear and careful preparations for your own or someone else's death is the best thing you can do to help those who will be left behind. There are many decisions you can make and documents which you can prepare in advance. This page will help you to decide if a home funeral is right for you, and if it is, this page will help you to plan it.
You will also find a wealth of information on my Further resources page.
Why not just use a funeral home?
Funeral homes do provide a valuable service, not least by shielding us from the grim and unpleasant realities of death. However, they are businesses which need to make a profit. The average cost of cremation through a funeral home in New Zealand has been estimated to be $10,000 - a figure which many households simply can't afford. Burial costs can be even higher. Also a large number of funeral homes In NZ are now owned by two large Australian corporations, Propel and Invocare. Big corporations usually do not move in unless they see the potential for significant profits and returns to shareholders, with obvious consequences.
Often a large chunk of a funeral home's charges will be "professional services" which are not itemised. To avoid being fleeced, you need to stand up for yourself and be hard nosed. Shop around, insist on a fully itemised quote, ask for only the services you actually need (rather than just accepting whatever you are offered), question specific costs (negotiate if necessary) and make sure you are not talked into (or sneakily charged for) services you don't want. Better still, use this website to learn how to do as much as you can for yourself with the help of family and friends. Knowledge is power, and time spent on the phone making the right enquiries can literally save you thousands.
If you have any questions, feedback on any aspect of this website or suggestions as to how I could improve it, please get in touch with me through the Contact page. If you would like to help promote the site, feel free to print and distribute this flyer.