Further resources
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The following links will take you to many people and organisations who are actively supporting the home funeral movement:
- Organisations working in the Home Funeral domain
- Handbooks which will help you through the DIY process
- Online resources including media articles and websites
- Doulas and counsellors in the Wellington and Nelson regions who support home funerals
- Funeral directors in Wellington and Nelson who support home funerals
- Workshops you can attend
- Legislation and forms concerning funeral processes and the disposition of dead bodies in NZ
Organisations (national and international) carrying out excellent work in the home funeral domain
- Karen Williamson of Akeake Shrouds has put together a resources page which lists many of the people and organisations who are supporting home funerals in NZ. I will list some of the most helpful ones below with a description of what they do, but if you want to download a PDF document which contains all the links you can do so here.
- The Australian Home Funeral Alliance (AHFA) offers heaps of very useful information, including several educational videos which can be viewed here. It also has a page specific to NZ, including a very useful flowchart by Claire Turnham outlining the paperwork process in this country. The American equivalent of AHFA is the National Home Funeral Alliance (NHFA), whose website is another trove of useful information.
- Another Australian advocacy group whose site contains useful explanations of what a home funeral is and can entail, plus resources for planning one, is NDAN.
- Zenith Virago is a pioneer in the home funeral movement. She founded Byron Bay's Natural Death Care Centre over 25 years ago. The website provides a free downloadable guidebook as well as a link to her excellent TED Talk, "Disrupting Death", which you can also watch here.
- Nga Pou Herenga - The Funeral Guides' Collective - are based in the Whakatane area and have been successfully supporting their community for many years in carrying out their own after-death care and funeral arrangements. Their very informative website can be viewed here.
- The Fare-Well Trust provides end-of-life and after-death care and support to people wishing to die at home or use assisted dying services in the Marlborough/Nelson region. View their website here.
- Organisations such as Compassionate Communities and NODA in Rotorua are attempting to grow solid community support for people as they are approaching the end of their lives. I salute their efforts to meet this very great need.
Handbooks you can order or read online
Better Send-Off
Gail McJorrow's book Better Send-Off was published in 2015 and remains a very useful resource for DIY'ers.
The Home Funeral Handbook
Living Legacies provides a handbook giving comprehensive advice on how to carry out a low-cost natural funeral yourself, which you can order from the website.
Arranging a Funeral
The following book is a classic in the DIY sphere and has been a valuable guide for many New Zealanders over the years:
"Arranging a Funeral:
What You Can Do Yourselves
~ A New Zealand Guide ~
by Philip Tomlinson
Online resources
- For an insight like none other into the workings of death you can't go past Caitlin Doughty's YouTube channel Ask a Mortician, which has over 2 million followers (with good reason). Although it's American, her website Order of the Good Death has much to say which is just as relevant here in NZ.
- Caitlin Doughty has also written three best-selling books which are both hilarious and philosophical. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes (and other lessons from the Crematorium) is not just a fascinating account of her experiences as a mortician (following which she virtually singlehandedly established the alternative death movement in the US), but is one of the best books I've ever read. She is a marvellous writer.
- The Spinoff's special issue for "Death Week" contains lots of good articles and helpful information.
- In October 2023 TVNZ's current affairs programme "Sunday" aired a segment on the high cost of funerals which featured me picking up pallets and making a casket for my good friend Karen. They did a good job of the story.
- Some media articles on DIY funerals include a review by Consumer of Ways to keep funeral costs down, Cutting the cost of dying, and Can you die for free?
- NZ Community Law provides free legal advice on all sorts of subjects.
- Final Farewell sells a useful booklet which is designed to provide comprehensive support with all aspects of funeral planning. It is available in hard copy or electronically. The website also contains videos and links designed to increase awareness of the issues around planning for end of life.
- Funeral Notice NZ provides a place for people to advise of someone's death without having to use a newspaper. You can also write an obituary for the person and post a photo, even years after the event.
- My Trove provides a centralised platform for notifying many other government and private organisations about someone's death.
Services and support for people dealing with the end of life
Death doulas
Death doulas are are often retired palliative care nurses who wish to support people in caring for the dying both before and after the moment of death. They step into the end-of-life space to help families through the process. Like the home funeral movement generally, there is a resurgence of interest in this work, both from people wishing to carry it out, and people who need it. If you feel you need support with any aspect of caring for a dead or dying person, a doula can help you.
If you live in the Wellington area, Melanie Humphries-Connolly is an experienced end-of-life doula and registered nurse with a background in palliative care. She is available to support and advise families in all aspects of end-of-life care, and can be contacted here or on 027 633 1900. She is in the process of forming a national organisation of Death Doulas (see the ELDAA website here) and is also co-facilitator of the Hutt Valley Death Cafe which provides a friendly and supportive space for conversations around living, death and dying.
To see if an end-of-life doula is available where you live, click here.
Grief counsellors
Death and dying can bring up very strong emotions. Family systems and friendship networks can be severely tested during such a time. If you feel you need support there are resources available. You may be able to find free or cheap counselling in your area with an online search or by contacting the Citizen's Advice Bureau.
Lifeline provides counselling services by phone and text 24hrs a day 7 days a week.
There are many women's centres around NZ which can usually provide very reasonably priced counselling services.
The Grief Centre is a national charity which provides free resource booklets on dealing with grief here.
The wonderful Tilly Stevens runs a website called It All Matters which offers grief counselling, life coaching and support services around every aspect of dealing with grief and loss.
Funeral directors in the Wellington and Nelson regions who are supportive of home funerals
Funeral services in the Wellington area
If you do feel you need the services of a funeral director for some or all of your funeral arrangements, as a matter of principle I always advise people to look for the sole operators. It can be difficult to find them as many small funeral companies have now been bought up by Invocare or Propel but continue to operate under the original names. Please bear in mind that many of the bargain basement cremation services being offered in NZ are owned by these two large Australian corporations, so if you prefer to give your money to an ordinary person who actually needs to make a living, rather than a bunch of shareholders, do your research carefully.
If you live in the greater Wellington or Horowhenua regions, I can thoroughly recommend George O'Donnell of Private Cremations, a lovely young man and one of the very few sole operators left, who is genuinely dedicated to providing affordable cremation services to ordinary people. To contact him please phone George on 0210 231 4739, or email george@privatecremations.co.nz
Another Wellington-based funeral director I can highly recommend is Fiona King, also a sole operator. Fiona is a very helpful person who specialises in eco burials utilising the cemetery at Makara. Her website Broadbent and May is excellent. She has also given a wonderful TED Talk called "A Natural Undertaking" on taking back control of the funeral process.
Funeral services in the Nelson area
Lynda Hannah offers a holistic service which educates, supports, and assists families making low-cost and environmentally sustainable funeral arrangements themselves without employing a funeral director. Her website Living Legacies offers a wealth of advice. She has also written a handbook giving comprehensive advice on how to carry out a low-cost natural funeral yourself.
Owen Haring is a sole operator in Richmond who offers simple, direct funerals at a very reasonable cost. He is a very nice man and his website Simple Direct Funerals is interesting and informative and even includes a blog.
DIY funeral workshops in the Wellington area
The organisation Death Without Debt aims to educate the public and advocate for change to current regulations and systems which are driving New Zealanders into funeral debt. DWD has been running workshops like this one giving practical information and assistance on how to arrange a home funeral. For further information please email Fergus Wheeler on deathwithoutdebt@proton.me
To see full details of workshops running currently in the South Island, including locations, pricing etc, please click here.
Legislation and forms
For those who have a burning desire to understand the state of the law in NZ, the primary acts and regulations affecting the handling of dead bodies and funeral processes in this country are:
- The Burial and Cremation Act 1964
- The Coroner's Act 2006
- The Human Tissue Act 2008
- The Health (Burial) Regulations 1946
- The Cremation Regulations 1973
- Ministry of Health regulations and guidelines on handling human tissue
A Ministry of Health document outlining the roles and responsibilities of medical referees can be downloaded here. The document has appendices containing the forms which must be used when applying for a cremation in NZ.
A review of the Burial and Cremation Act 1964 has been under way for several years, without results so far. It is being carried out by the Ministry of Health. Information on the review, including links to submissions, can be found here.